Confession

Hang on to Your IQ by Placebo

I have a confession to make. It's not a secret to my parents and some of my close friends, but still, there're a lot of people around me who do not know I'm a smoker.
I started smoking over a year ago. I do admit I started smoking because I thought it would help control my appetite, but after a while I became physically and mentally addicted and honestly, I haven't thought about quitting since i started.
In China, smoking was, and it still is a really common thing. Both of my parents were smokers, but my mum quit when I was 7. My dad did quit 6 years ago but picked it up again last year, and now he's smoking heavier than ever.I hated cigarettes when I was a kid, I remember crying to my dad, telling him I wanted him to quit smoking; and I think that's partially why my mum was pretty upset when she found out I started smoking. They both accepted it after a couple months, they respected my choice and they thought that because they were both smokers and now my dad still is, they don't really have the right to tell me not to smoke. Now here I am in the state of California of which the smoking rate is probably one of the lowest in the US, it does feel weird when I'm the only one walking on the street smoking, and since I can't go to clubs any more because of the age limit, I'm smoking much less now.
I'm not proud of being a smoker, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It might sound sick, but I think there's something dangerously beautiful about smoking. To me a man with a cigarette in hand seems more like a real man , and a woman who smokes also have a special charm. I guess that's why cigarettes always appear in editorials, especially French and Italian Vogue.
So, I smoke cigarettes, particularly Marlboro Lights, it doesn't make me a immoral person, it's just a, well, bad habit of mine, and everyone has bad habits, this way or another. From now on, cigarettes will appear in my photography, and i won't explain anymore.