Fear

La Dispute
by Yann Tiersen

"Anyway, i can try anything it's the same circle that leads to nowhere and i'm tired now.
anyway, i've lost my face, my dignity, my look, everything is gone and i'm tired now.
but don't be scared, i found a good job and i go to work every day on my old bicycle you loved.
i am pilling up some unread books under my bed and i really think i'll never read again.
no concentration, just a white disorder everywhere around me, you know i'm so tired now.
don't worry i often go to dinners and parties with some old friends who care for me, take me back home and stay.
monochrome floors, monochrome walls, only abscence near me, nothing but silence around me.
monochrome flat, monochrome life, only abscence near me, nothing but silence around me.
sometimes i search an event or something to remind me, but i've really got nothing in mind.
sometimes i open the windows and listen people walking in the down streets. there is a life out there.
but don't be scared, i found a good job and i go to work every day on my old bicycle you loved.
anyway, i can try anything it's the same circle that leads to nowhere and i'm tired now.
anyway, i've lost my face, my dignity, my look, everthing is gone gone and i'm tired now.
but don't be scared, i found a good job and i go to work every day on my old bicycle you loved.
don't worry i often go to dinners and parties with some old friends who care for me, take me back home and stay.
mochrome floors, monochrome walls, only abscence near me, nothing but silence around me.
monochrome flat, monochrome life, only abscence near me, nothing but silence around me"




How do you hold on to the belief that you will find love one day? That you are special to someone out there; that you can find the shoulders to lean on at 11pm with take-out food on the table, the eyes that look straight into yours in the morning when you wake up.
Are these all what just appear in movies?
How do you know, you won't end up alone?

Listening to this song, I can only picture myself in my 30's, all by myself, just got back from work with cold food, so tired and depressed, smoking on the balcony. I can hear couples laugh and kiss on the street, walking back home together in the fragile street light, and there I am, with my cigarette in hand, a glass of Perrier, and no more.

I know I sound like an emotional freak, but well.
I guess I'm just scared.
yes I am.